Friday, March 28, 2008

Knee to the Brain

Last night in a churchball game, I took a knee to the temple, so with that in mind, here are some random thoughts that shook loose when I took the blow to the brain:

First off I'd like to thank the good people of IcyHot. For years when men got sore from playing basketball, softball, or any other sport, they had to rub something called "Ben Gay" on their sore calves, hammys, and quads. As a guy let me tell you, there's nothing more awkward then rubbing a cream with the word "gay" in it on your upper thighs. It eliminates any sense of pride or machismo achieved by playing sports. Thank you Icy Hot.

Earlier this week, Chris Webber retired. Some people say he's one of the greatest underachievers in the history of the league, but compare his career to the rest of the 1993 draft class. Btw, I'm completely biased on this topic (and most others)--I loved the fab five, grew up a Warriors fan, been a Kings fan for the last 9 years, and have sympathy for guys who fail in the clutch.

My favorite sports radio host is Colin Cowherd, but I'm losing faith fast. He used to be so good at cutting through B.S. and giving a truly unique take on sports. In the last 6 months though he's sounded more like Sean Hannity or Chris Matthews than the Colin I know (I don't really know him) and love (it's not like I LOVE love him). Can anyone refer me to someone who can take Uncle Colin's place? 

Watching UCLA the last few rounds has enlightened me on the best new 'au natural' nickname in sports. The key is having a nickname that doesn't require the And1 Mixed Tape Tour treatment. Andre Kirilenko (AK-47) used to hold this title, but ladies and gentlemen we have a new champ. The last name of Kevin Love's backup, Lorenzo Mata Real, can roughly be translated as "He truthfully kills", or even "True Killer." Just imagine if the True Killer someday plays alongside AK-47--quite the lethal combination. 

 

4 comments:

Kelly said...

Is Icy Hot paying you??

Brad said...

Ben Gay is overrated. I know what you mean about the Herd, although I think his opinions are more slanted towards what riles people up more than what he might acually believe. Eric Kuselias is good, but there are more bad ones than good (ie Gottlieb, Screamin' A.). Back to your previous post, did you see that they took down all the Bonds photos and homerun trackers at what was Pac Bell?

Ryan said...

Yeah I somehow like Eric Kuselias, even though he's a backup and supposed to be less of a host. I couldn't sleep last night so I listened to the BS Report til about 1 am (the smell of ben gay on my sheets kept me up--that sounded really bad).

The Giants actions towards Bonds are eerily similar to the bad high school breakup. Bonds almost signing with the cross-town rival would have made it even better. I wonder if Peter Magowan asked Gary Sheffield to give Barry all his old stuff. "It would be too awkward face-to-face."

Maybe Barry will write Magowan a bad love poem trying to earn back a spot on the roster.

Brad said...

The Giants should place some placards for the new left fielder. With 28 HR in 780 career games it could be a real long term promotion.
The Real Killer may actually be The Swag Stealer:
http://www.uniwatchblog.com/2008/03/30/where-did-we-go-wrong/